previously, on Dumptions and Dragons.
We're looking for someone named Thelonious, Prim's...
Prim's friend? Prim's gown?
Her smile disappears.
You mean Thelonious Prim's Bay.
Oh, that was way off.
He's raising undead armies to fight the Axe of Mirabar.
Perhaps the four of us are not enough.
You know, the four of you might just be the craziest idea,
but he might not see it coming.
There's an entrance to the Underdark in the city of Neverwinter.
You'll have to trudge through
and hopefully keep your sanity and selves as you try to find him.
Well, that one sounds pretty scary.
I wanted to show you how important our bond is to me,
that the pieces of each of us help me feel whole.
So if you would take this and keep it with you,
I think it will help keep you safe.
I'll never take it off.
As I, I will wear it close to my heart.
Yes, thank you very much.
Alright, who's ready to get fucked?
LAUGHTER
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I'm your dungeon master and tech support, Russ More.
He, him.
Also with me tonight is Tom Laird.
Yeah, that's me.
He, him.
And tonight I'm playing Perseus and they go by he, him as well.
And Carla Maxted.
She, her.
And tonight I will be Lexington,
who I'm going to say is they, them,
because if any, they are, they are them.
All of them.
They are all of them.
And Amy More.
I was just about to take a sip of my drink,
just threw it right at me.
She, her.
And I will be playing Nenya Business.
LAUGHTER
You'll find out later.
You'll find out when I find out.
That's right.
I've been set loose.
Woo!
It's going to be a good time.
That's right.
And from the multiple storylines and time streams
that is Dumbgeons and Dragons,
we have returning guest cast members here tonight
with Rev DeShane.
Hi, he, him.
I'm here playing Margaret Broadcloak.
She, her.
And Kyle Claset.
Hey, what's up, everyone?
Kyle, he, him.
And yeah, it's not any of your business still
what I'm doing in this episode.
We just can't get rid of Kyle now.
He just shows up.
Like, he's got access to the calendar, I think.
He just clicks the link and is like,
I'm here to play characters.
Yeah.
What's really weird is I just don't understand
how he got into my house.
LAUGHTER
That is a good thing to be concerned about,
but don't worry.
It will be OK.
OK.
He's a good housemate.
He cleans up after himself.
He makes dinner.
Barely even notice me.
It's all very positive.
I do feel like timeframes,
or, sorry, time streams are crossing
because we're having guests crossover now
from, like, different worlds,
so it's fun.
There's so many beards on the call tonight,
the most ever.
LAUGHTER
Yes, I think so.
So many beards.
I didn't even notice,
but now I feel underbearded.
The beard quota is at the,
I think the highest it's ever been.
The highest it's ever been.
It is, yeah.
I haven't shaved my legs
in, like, 18 months.
Does that count?
They're, like, beards for your legs?
Sure, yeah.
Leg beards.
Sure.
I think leg beard is the name
of my other character
I'm going to be playing tonight.
Oh!
Damn it!
LAUGHTER
Damn it!
Fuck!
I just gave it up.
You're welcome.
Right in the intro, too.
It's a gift you get
when you come onto our podcast.
Amy will create a fabulous name for you.
You know where you get all the fabulous
leg beards?
Is over on Patreon.
And by leg beards,
I mean gifts.
Like, rewards.
And perks.
And pictures of my legs.
No.
Don't post pictures of your legs.
No.
I shouldn't have sent out
all those pictures of my legs?
Do you have access to Patreon?
Touché, Russ.
Touché.
Gotcha.
Zing.
Yeah, you're right.
But you get perks and rewards
over on Patreon,
but you also get an episode
dedicated to you
like today's patron,
Kayla Emerson.
Thanks, Kayla.
Thank you, Kayla.
You can join us
at Patreon.com
slash dumb dragon cast
and now
fuck it,
let's play.
The city of Neverwinter
is bustling.
This market is filled
and Lex
and Margaret
and Arvid
and Perseus
are pressing their way
through having been sent here
by Uzumaki
as they are on the trail
of one felonious
primsbane.
As you look around
and you
you see
many wanted posters
like more than usual.
It's a normal thing
to have them up in town
but you see
specifically
repeats of
a young halfling
named Sullivan Sleight
and
a dragonborn
named Norixius Akra
aka
Glim.
You
are
trying to recall
the
name of the guide
who Uzumaki
had said
will be
um
one of the best
to take you down
into the Underdark.
When you turn a corner
and you see a sign,
what does the sign say
Kyle and Amy?
It said
take me away.
It's an old worn sign
they've been in business
for quite some time.
It is a travel agency.
Although above that sign
there's
there's a bunch of
other signs
that are like
crossed out with names
that have
obviously just been
passed up.
So
you see other things
Is this the downtown office?
Yeah
you see like
it's like one sign
with just like
it's like completely scratched out
you can't read it
and there's a couple other
that are
you know
illegible as well
and
take me away now
has been crossed out
yeah
they've settled on
was there one that said
I want to get away
I want to fly
one of them says
I'll take you away
but that one's been
vigorously scratched out
because
it's a little kidnappy
yep
you see
multiple business
contracts
and permits
blowing out
of this building
as it
as you approach
this is clearly a front
for something right?
Well I don't like
their recycling policies
I'm not sure why
these papers
are just blowing out
well maybe they have
some sort of wizard
in there
that's casting all sorts
of wind spells
oh
Percy as you're right
that could definitely
be what's going on
you know how wizards are
oh this could be
an illusion
maybe
just let me try something
and Margaret steps forward
and holds her hands out
take me away
oh no I didn't
yeah I guess this is
what it is
it says that
you see
oh fuck
I haven't even thought
of what my character
is going to be
you see
skinny kobold
come rush
yeah you write
this shit down
because I got
I got nothing
skinny kobold
comes
running
or rushing out of that
door
scrambling to pick up
papers
from
from the street
as they're being blown
blown around
maybe we should turn
the fan down
no we got it
I'm warm
I'm way too warm
for this time of the
time of the year
the fan stays on
I told you
you're learning
the filing though
I heard is important
yes
you got to file
otherwise
otherwise we lose
our permit again
we can't have it happen
I'm um
I'm like five days
from retirement
I gotta make it
you hear this just
this voice
coming out
from the
from the window
next to the door
are we sure
Uzumaki
said that
these were the ones
well I
I think
so
they
take me away
or
take
I can't
but they
the name was said
and best
was used
right
I just wanted to confirm
it wasn't
my drug induced ears
from that
that frivolous night
we had
before we left
yes it's
I mean it's hard to say
it seems that they've gone
through quite a number
of names
it's possible they stole
this name from someone
down the street
but
well
YOLO
as the kids say
I knew I shouldn't have
told them that one
thanks Percy
I feel hip
and you sound
very hip
well
well done
you sound
cool
well
should we
why don't we
at least
inquire
perhaps
they give a better
impression
inside
four of you enter
behind this scrambling
kobold
who doesn't quite notice
you as you're
as they're picking up
all the papers
and rushing inside
when you get in
it's
how I picture it
is a
and feel free
to correct me
on any of the details
but like a
dockside
marina
in Captain Ron
where
why is your
always
because
it's good
because it's a good
fucking movie
you keep
referencing it
every time I've been
on this show
I think every single
time
was that one of your
bullet points
make sure to hit on
Captain Ron
material
that's in my writer
that Captain Ron
has to be mentioned
makes a lot more sense
more Kurt Russell
without a shirt
is basic
is how it's written
so you read
through the line
between the lines
no one's complaining about that
no exactly
we're talking like
two standing
like booth type
desks on either side
yeah
yeah but
a little rickety
worn down
dust covered
except in the places
where you can tell
that somebody
has clearly been standing
with one elbow
behind the desk
because there's a spot
there where there's
well also all the wind though
all the wind
so there's clouds
plumes of dust
rather than just
settled
because of all of
the wind and fans
there's a
there's a spinning
little display
with a bunch of
tour guide
information
pamphlets and whatnot
and you see
this old
old
like
near retirement
age
human man
bald
giant bushy
eyebrows
hair growing
out of his ears
and he's just like
this one goes here
this one goes
oh good god
we actually have
customers
we actually
flanks
here
time to learn
oh
okay
welcome
hello
welcome to
welcome
what did we name
the place again
what did we change
it to recently
I'll take you
away
I'll take
you away
no
that's the one
that we're not supposed
to use because
the boss has said
that it's aggressive
oh right
take
take me away
so you want us
to take you away
no
we'll take
you away
I think I just circled
back to the first one
we'll take you
wherever the hell
you want to go
where the hell are you
going
yeah
you need a pamphlet
we got lots of pamphlets
I also have brochures
oh I would take
a brochure
I have not had
the lesson yet
the training
on the difference
between the pamphlet
and the brochure
maybe I could give you
one of each
Lex how about you
talk to the older
fellow
and I'll take
the brochure
oh take it
I could point
some pictures to you
sir
or
names japes
ma'am
one more time
I'm sorry
japes
it's lovely
to meet you
I'm Lex
arvid
margaret
percy
Lex arvid
margaret
percy
Lex arvid
lamp
oh you're a fan
of those
naming devices
to remember things
I gotta remember shit
somehow at my age
you clearly show signs
I don't want to go
I'm sensing some degradation
where are you going?
well you were
do you
do you know
uzumaki
gesundheit
hey hey hey
hey hey
I'm glad they hired you
yeah
yeah uzumaki sounds familiar
I'm pretty sure I heard of him
oh
I think
they recommended
you
we need to
get
somewhere
dangerous
and
you would be
the best
guides
to get us there
that's right
you hear that flanks
we're the best guides
to get them there
that's right
between the two of us
and flanks
like turns around
and completely like
whacks an elbow
into the stand
of pamphlets
and or brochures
he doesn't know
oh my
and we'll get you there
no problem
no no
do you need a hand with that
I got this
we are looking for
the best guides
to enter the underdark
surreptitiously
yeah that's a
big word
on snakes
sneakily
yeah we just want to sneak in
unnoticed
we just want to
is that
something that you do here at
take me away
flanks
is that something we do here
ah yes sir
you're damn right it is
the customers always right
damn straight flanks
you're learning quick
just in time to be my replacement
can you imagine
finishing off
your next
35 to 45
years of employment
at this great establishment
where we are the best guides
to take people to the underdark
surreptitiously
as I've learned the word recently
absolutely
and I will
surreptitiously
execute
my job
that's what I'm talking about
that's the fucking
that's the moxie right there
thank you sir
do you have your supplies
or are we going to have to
supply supplies
provide supplies
that doesn't fucking matter
do you need shit
I can give you surprise supplies
we can surprise you with supplies
do you want the surprise supplies package
it's an extra 150
that's gold
what comes
in the supplies
this is taking a turn
what comes in the surprise
now come here
I'll tell you
real close
oh Arvid is close
if I told you it wouldn't be
a fucking surprise now would it
so
when would the surprise be
revealed
when you need it most
oh
oh well then in that case
absolutely
do we need one
surprise supplies
one each
or one for all of us
flanks
I think there's a group discount
yeah
great I do love a group
now there's a group discount
I think that's called a group on
what are you getting on
in years we got to get going
me too let's go
fair enough
I'll go get the surprise supplies
yeah good
we see a montage of flanks and japes
just piling things into
four different crates
and what
what's the surprise supplies
I don't know how big this is
are we taking a carriage
yes
sure
I don't know how to get there
obviously
it's okay flanks doesn't need
that's fair enough
flanks knows what's up
why am I asking questions
I'll do the favor of start
curating the list of what actually
comes in the surprise supplies
oh please do
I will add to that list
and putting them into these crates
and then piling them into
this like
roped together
sack
and then japes
puts the shoulder straps
onto flanks
so flanks is carrying these
four surprise supplies crates
hey Lex
do you think that
everybody's surprise supplies
package is different
based on their personality
or do you think it's like
just a generic one for everybody
well I would hope they put
some personal touches
in there obviously
the surprise supplies that I
require would be very different
than the surprise supplies
that you or Margaret or Arvid
would require
so you wouldn't want to
you wouldn't want to double up
the surprise supplies
with your own standard supplies
did you two need to leave a sign
at the business or
not much people can do
if we're not there
so they can go in
there's not anything to steal there
well there's the pamphlets
we can just print out new ones
yeah it just takes me a long time
to write them out
flanks would you like
could carry
some of that
weight if you like
oh
I'm alright
we're only like
10 feet away from the shop
and it's part of the
package deal that
this is a full service
I got it
yeah you're not going to
carry shit
the orchestral music
rises
as
this group
enters down into the tunnel
leading down into the underdark
and as you enter the underdark
we see scenes of you
walking through
and the deeper you get
the more alien it becomes
at first it's just
tunnels and caverns
with slicked moss
but as you go
more things become
plants and
we see you walking through
one of these fields
and
spores
begin to shoot up
out of some of these plants
oh those are good ones
you breathe them in
and get your lungs all ready
for what you're about to encounter
you get a little bit of the essence of the place
it really brings you into it
you should try it
we cut ahead
and
and we're all unconscious on the ground
covered in spores
that's how I like to play this game
everybody make a
constitution saving throw
with
yeah fuck it
with disadvantage
let's make it fun
I got a nine
and also I don't have stats
I got a two
we're doing great Kyle
we're killing this thing
15
would this be a harmful gas or vapor
I mean probably
then 28
that's with disadvantage
what the hell
I get advantage so it cancels out
if it's a harmful gas or vapor
so five of you
are huddled together
with this luminescent mushroom
between you
Margaret you're looking over the scene
as you are all
tripping
the most balls
the walls around you
appear to be melting
the ground beneath you
is like quicksand
or like waves
that you're seated upon
you hear sounds
often into the distance
of scurrying creatures
yes you can
you can see better now
the lights
I can taste the lights
Arvid
yeah
Arvid
this reminds me of that one time
that you and I
you know
back in
Barcelona
no you've been to Barcelona
we have a package for that too
no no I think it was Ibiza
we got one for that
of course
if I hold my hand
I know that we can
that's my hand
oh terribly sorry
I mean unless you would also like
to hold hands
in which case Arvid
I could give you my other hand
yeah because there are people
of more than one hand mostly
my hands are melting
most of the time
Margaret
you hear
down a tunnel
end of
scurrying footsteps
it sounds like
it could be multiple creatures
you can't place
the size or the weight
based on what you can hear
I'm going to bend down
in the middle of the group
and break off the glowing mushroom
and try to like leave the group away
using it
get them into a place where
we can hide from whatever is coming
somehow Margaret became
Margaret for the group
make a stealth roll
no
I do have disadvantage on that
10
oh because of
heavy armor
and I will also say because I'm
holding a big blow
my children who are tripping balls
okay
everybody begins to follow the mushroom
it's moving now
I like that it's smiling at me
Percy is
catch it
I'll get it
he's nowhere close to it
everybody's screaming running behind you
trying to catch the mushroom
is this what you wanted
this is exactly what I wanted
and coming out of the tunnel
Margaret you see gnolls
begin to come out
they have
a couple of them are carrying spears
and they're not armed
but they have them on their person
and they come out
and they immediately are like
sniffing around at the air
and see you
and begin charging towards you
I'm gonna drop the mushroom
and get my sword and shield out
puppies
so we'll say there are four
at this time
I'm gonna need everybody to focus up
real fast
I'm gonna name this tunnel Margaret
and then we'll popcorn through
and see
four
that's a four
same z's
I got a five
because I also rolled a four but I have plus one
I rolled a two
I just rolled a straight four
because I don't have stats
I got a 20
so Margaret you're up
first
I can roll for you
yes
he wants to kill us he can't let you roll for him
yep
there are four gnolls charging towards you Margaret
you've dropped the mushroom
your band of Mary
idiots
have all crowded around it
and are huddled on the ground behind you
to keep warm
and he's rubbing his hands together
and putting them to the mushroom like it's a fire
I'm gonna wait for them to run up
and hit the first one that arrives
okay yeah they're charging towards you
you're holding your action until they reach within range
and they do so
swing away
26 for the first one
and that is six points of bludgeoning damage
it's running at you full tilt
and is pulling its spear out
and you swing and clobber it in the head
and it sends its spiraling off into the sun
23 to hit
eight damage
and your last attack
28
that's mushroom
and six damage
so I imagine them just running in a straight line
and Margaret's really just swinging the mace left to right
knocking them aside
yeah exactly
this last one charges towards you
in the last in line
a little nervous
with a look of panic
I don't know why
but it's going to swing at you
with its spear
that's going to be an 18
that does not hit
glints off your armor as it just barrels into you
make a strength saving throw
27
ever since I switched to rolling on D&D Beyond
it's incredible
you're one strong broad oh my god
it's true
reminder for listeners or if this is your first episode
why is this your first episode
why
what an interesting place to start
I mean you're more than welcome to start here
it's a wild choice
would you give Margaret a description there once more
yes Margaret
just basically imagine a rough and tumble version
of the late great Betty White
she's very short
she is in her late 70s
she has a large shield
with a giant eye on it
and a glowing mace
and she is a monster hunter
and Kyle had no idea
and now his character is just so into it
I know right
waggling those big gray eyebrows at me
you know it
like a caterpillar looking your way
just doing the wave
with that Jaypes you're going to be up next
damn
Jaypes rummages in
oh I'm not Jaypes
Jaypes rustles through the surprise package
busts out a vial of perfume
runs up to the no-go surprise motherfucker
and sprays the perfume in his eyes
con save
that's a seven
the knoll is now blinded
that's right didn't expect that one did you
I spritz myself a little bit
that was a surprise and a good smell on you
and exactly when you needed it
it's peony
Jaypes you have been down to the underdark a lot
so you
although you are in it
you can kind of shake off
the effects of the spores
everybody else I'm going to need you to make a
con saving throw in order to
tear your gaze
from the mushroom at disadvantage
on your turn
that is a 17 for me Russ
okay you managed to tear your eyes away
and you look and instead of knolls
you see these weird bat winged
like melting creatures
that are being batted away
by Margaret
well in that case I am
even more fervently going to swing my dagger
at these things because they're terrifying
go for it
describe your attack
yeah so Perseus
takes his dagger of venom
and kind of lunges towards this weird like
bat wing giant creature
and tries to slash at the wings
because obviously he doesn't want it
flying because that would be
utterly terrifying in this situation
you slash at the wings of the knoll
and everybody else sees Perseus
get up from this mushroom
and fly through the air
screaming give me a scream Perseus
and lunge with this dagger of venom
towards what he sees as wings
and fly through the air
and flop down on his face
did I get it?
yeah Lex we'll throw it to Lex
19
okay you managed to tear your vision away
you see
Lex you see these mud people
like they're
kind of glooping
they're all kind of moving down around the ground
because Margaret's been batting them around
you see Perseus
fly through the air
with wings in your vision
takes flight
and then comes and lands back down on the ground
and Perseus says you actually hit the ground
there's like this plume of more spores
things become briefly clearer for you Perseus
but we don't know that quite yet
you
they're very dirty and
gross and I think
I'm going to try to approach
the glooping mud monsters
I maybe would approach with a hand axe
because I think they're much shorter than me right
they're like low lying so I'd be hitting down
so I've got three attacks
that is a 14, a 16, and a 19
the 16 and the 19 will hit
a 16
you charge towards and begin hacking
at this mud person
as you step closer and move more towards where Perseus was
they're all kind of in a similar proximity
you are cutting into this mud monster
and it becomes clearer that this is a gnoll
that you're slashing down into
as the mud splashing back up at you turns into blood
that splatters across your face
well I thought the mud was pretty gross but
the blood right in the
I think got some in my mouth
it's pretty gross
little one what are you up to?
con minus 12
you're staring at the mushroom
well I mean I'm learning the universe's secrets
I've enrolled in that one
you can see beyond the colors
you can see deep within your own soul
you can see the edges of the universe
Margaret you hear more movement from down the tunnel
like a pack of these gnolls rushing down
Perseus and Lex you are coming too
Japes you are
I mean you're stoned but you're with it
you know what's happening
Flanks and Arvid are
are seeing everything
but nothing at the same time
Sir is there a tunnel you could lead us to or
somewhere
to avoid more fighting
they're a little
ooh
is there a ghost in here too?
yes there is
gnolls begin to pour out of the tunnel now
there's dozens of them following in behind
screaming cackles and hollers
yee no goo yee no goo yee no goo
you know a way through here
lead the way and Margaret kind of stands with her shield out
trying to guard the flank
the mysteries of the universe will have to wait from now
we need to go
bring the universe
I actually just grab it and I'm like follow me
and I start just like heading in the opposite direction of the gnolls
Margaret holding everything back
everybody tears forward as you are being surrounded from all sides by these gnolls
we're going to cut ahead everybody make a dexterity saving throw
it's an eight
seventeen
I won
I only yeah fourteen sure
eleven
we cut to a tunnel it's quiet
there's Lex Margaret Flanks and Arvid are huddled around a corner
the two of them Arvid and Flanks are slowly coming back to now that they're around this corner
Japes and Perseus are not part of this group though
they got torn away from the from the the mass of you
and carried away by these gnolls
as this as this horde of them is just tearing down this tunnel
we hear this thing the thunderous shaking of them moving down
I'm about to retire you just leave me and put me down
you you smell dirty you need soap I got soap
I'll save you Japes
that's fading off into the distance what do the four of you do
well we have to go get Perseus
and and Japes of course because he is one of our guides so
I mean he did once tell me that when his time had come I would know
sorry
you hear the echoes of Japes saying Flanks this isn't my time
I would know deep in my heart
I haven't signed off on your promotion
never mind we have to save him
you're right we probably should
the person who gave us their names
Uzumaki
yep Margaret starts to head down the tunnel
if we're going to get them we've got to go fast
remind me next time we see him to put a boot up Uzumaki's ass
who is Uzumaki
don't worry dear
this is the middle
yeah I feel like that's pretty Bill Shatner
I thought you were going for Rod Serling from the Twilight Zone
oh no I 100% thought William Shatner rocket man like 100%
well that's how you know it's a good impression when two people think it's one thing and two people think it's another thing
33% of the people
does it count when one of those people is also the other person who did it
yeah well I mean if one person locks into it because that person is thinking about that character doing it that's good right
sure yeah you can be Bill Shatner
I think what we've established is that Russ is really good at impressions
the man's been to space
how many Bill Shatners can say that they've been to space
I mean probably just the one
just the one
there's got to be many Billiams or William Shatners out there
I would assume there's more Billiams than Williams
Billiams
I would hope so
what kind of world are we in where there's not that many Billiams
I mean there might be a billion Billiams
you know where we don't have any Billiams
oh thank you Amy I was like how do we get out of this Billiams
it's on Patreon, Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast
no
we always did it
you were so hesitant in that you got it right but then you second guessed yourself
I know well I'm always like dumb dragons cast
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okay get back to the episode now
think about that live show
stop yelling though
it's gonna be great
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he's gonna keep yelling
it's gonna happen anyways
okay thanks everybody
bye
one more quick thing
we just found a new stream that I'm really digging
they're a lot of fun
Charisma Saving Show
got a promo for you right here
check them out on their YouTube channel
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okay the promo
ahoy listeners
are you looking for a new actual play
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are you
kidding me?
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we flash ahead
the four of you
have followed the main group
of these gnolls
staying back a little bit
so as not to be seen
but enter into this
large chamber
that is surrounded by these gnolls
and in the middle there's this flaming pit
and
Japes and Perseus have been strung up
high above it
and are being slowly lowered into it
the crowd around
is chanting
yee no goo
they don't like goo
so if you have
goo on you
I suggest you remove it
if we're gonna be diplomatic
uh Russ
I have the observant
feet so
I can
yeah I can see their mouths speaking
no I'm wrong
never mind just kidding
I pro don't speak that language
unless they're speaking primordial
in which case I do
and then you have to tell me what they're saying
they're speaking gnoll
basic gnolls
am I right guys?
everybody can make a
history or a religion check
everybody?
well I mean
sure you can make a religion check
if you want to there Japes
it's not gonna help you I don't think
that's a solid 10
you're good
I know about religion
16 for history
all of you as you're
listening and you're hearing through
it's sticking
with you now yee no goo is the
gnoll god
the chaotic evil gnoll god
that they are chanting
and clearly
attempting a sacrifice to
um
I think this might be like one of those
ritual sacrifice
things you know
to the pit of fire
I quite like I mean if you think
about it it's not
it's a really like I mean we have
to get them back obviously but
what a way to go am I right?
just the adventure of it all
we cut up to Perseus and Japes
who are tied back to back being lowered
over this fire pit
nothing like a good sweat huh?
yeah was this part of your
was this the surprise
supplies cause we could maybe
use that right now oh if I could get my
surprise supplies you wouldn't even
know what would happen to all of these
gnolls you would all
die
I mean that sounds pretty cool but I don't have
them so I can't do anything about it hope we make it
through Flanks is definitely sitting over there
with the surprise supplies but I wonder
wonder what I should do
how many is the rest like
dozens like we're just
there's a lot yeah no yeah
it's an open chamber large pit
it's like
like gladiator the
crowd is
moving like it's own solid
entity there yeah
well we have to get
Perseus back
any suggestions?
if I cut them down you think you
can catch them? yes
but how do we get we're gonna need a distraction
yes I got you
distraction cut them down
I'll catch them perfect
you got something in that box that can
distract them I sure do
Flanks like kinda half like
to his waist dives into this
box and there's a struggle
and you
hear clucking
and um
it's all
tracking so far
and what he pulls out
is an abyssal chicken
and hurls it into the
into the crowd and as he does
it grows to its full size
which I do believe is larger than your
standard chicken
well that that was a surprise
okay you're throwing it into the
crowd yeah
great uh love it
I'm here for it the surprise is that was supposed
to be our dinner
so an abyssal chicken is a
tiny fiend
um okay but
as I pull it out it grows to
slightly larger than a chicken
okay yep absolutely
100%
slightly larger than a normal chicken
I didn't learn anything from D&D live
I thought these were bigger things
I think at one point I rode
one of these so I'm confused
maybe it was like a honey and I shrunk the kids
situation
so you throw it expecting it to grow
in size and it lands
in the crowd and tumbles down
and you hear like this
as it's
consumed
by the gnolls
shit okay hold on
did I just hear clucky
I told them not to name it
do you ever have anything a little bigger
I don't
maybe something that explodes
or um okay
and he starts pulling things
out of the surprise
supplies
comes out with an abacus
some
a jester's outfit
a couple iron
pots
shovel
weird ass looking bag
a few chicken eggs
um
a bottle of glue
did you scroll through the whole list
yeah I did
no there's a few secrets left in there
well okay
what about the old fashion kind
this is okay
yeah I can do this I got this
go save the day
and he runs out
with his
daggers drawn and goes
hey ass wipes
and then
just kind of
all the gnolls stop chanting
and turn to look at
flanks every single one
in the room
alright now
did I have your attention
and from behind him he pulls
out pamphlets
anyone need a vacation
you hear cackling like
jackal cackling like this is the scene in lion
king where the hyenas are following
Simba like they're licking their lips
and like uh moving back
and forth trying to get in behind you
so that you can't run away I definitely
keep my back to the wall
I start throwing pamphlets at them
ah
abitha
everybody's attention in the room is on flanks
who has been backed to a wall
by the way I've described it
hundreds of gnolls
Margaret, Lex, and Arvid
what do you do
I'm gonna try to like I'm gonna sign
to Perseus
and japes to like get themselves
swinging cause they're over a big fire right
so that they can get like
clear of the fire
it's getting crispy on the toes at this point
yeah um
because you know Margaret and I had already
made a plan about
that so if they can get clear of the fire
then I am a big strong
made of many people man
ready to catch him
the two of you make a
an athletics or an acrobatics roll
that's a ten
first one was a
nineteen but I have disadvantage
so why do you have
disadvantage also
armor
I don't know it's just it's what's on my character
sheet so I'm gonna go with it great love it
my second roll was a nat
twenty so I guess we'll go with the nineteen
nineteen's still good
so japes begins
kicking back and forth but Perseus
you manage to catch the momentum
we begin rocking back and forth
over this flame
Margaret you're doing the shooting
Lex is doing the catching if I recall
yeah and also
scanning for like the exits to this room
so that once I catch them we
can like scoot
okay you hear cackling over in the
corner and like blade sharpening
as they're moving closer and closer
to flanks
the swinging the momentum
gets to be such that
you can Margaret
if you take a shot you feel that they
would be clear of the fire
okay I'll give it a try
well it went and it went in
eight
which could be better
I am going to use
one of my superiority
dice to see if I can make this
a little better okay
fifteen
is on the one
moon walked across
my page on the one then flipped to the seven
okay
fifteen is much better than eight
it
looses and you don't feel
confident about it as you're doing it
the eight but then
you correct it just at that last moment
and it whistles through the air
and connects with the rope
and you see it splinter
and then it swings back
and then they swing back once more
and it snaps and
releases them
make a dexterity saving throw japes
and perseus
seventeen that's a five
you're really carrying this whole
thing there Tom
the two of them you see them falling
they're tied together
can I attempt to do something to
break our fall
you're falling you're tied together
the rope is kind of unraveling or
loosening because of the tension
lost what do you want to do
I have a wondrous
item
well I guess it's not wondrous but it's
magical it's an animated shield
and it
will leap into the air and hover in my
space to protect me as if I'm wielding it
can I put it under our feet
to try to break our fall
yes you can where is Lex
because you were moving to
collect the people
yes
love it
I wasn't sure if we were really like on
target for that or not
where is we'll say that
they're on the side that you wanted to be
on because I said they
released when Margaret shot or
clicked and then went back and then
released so where are you positioned
perseus you
I feel like this is still happening you don't
know what's happening around you with the spinning and
velocity so that's that's totally cool
I think if I see
the shield like I've
been with perseus for a long time so I
get what is happening
maybe because we're best buds
so I can I mean
you know honestly it's probably easier to try
and catch the shield
than two wiggling
creatures so
james is writhing around
yeah
even if I just break their fall
that's still going to
make it an athletics
no a strength saving throw is probably the
best for this because
it could be squishy
26
I'm real strong
I mean an old man and
a halfling who
once was a rat
probably not
super heavy
shield comes flying down and connects
and you like you grab it
out of the air and it
knocks you back like into a seated
position but you manage to
slow their their descent
and nobody breaks any bones
as they as they
come down Margaret your
closest to
I guess Arvid's there too
Arvid's still tripping balls probably
he probably has one of those
mushrooms in his pocket he's just like
well
well Margaret we should
help help
help
the kobold
I could
go on I could
you could what
he rolls up his sleeves
and begins
drawing runes in the sky and like
illumination begins to occur
and like this
this eruption of
light and heat and flame
blasts down
on the main body of this
this mass of gnolls
who we look at we
zoom in on on
flanks and like
I don't know if kobold sweat but like sweat
is pouring down your face as
like these things are like right like
getting ready to kobold so yeah
getting ready to skewer you
and your pimply teenage kobold
ass
this explosion happens behind
them shooting this main
mass of all of these gnolls off into
the side giving you just the
briefest moment to bolt
through them
make a dex
check or an acrobatics
it doesn't matter
just go dex because it's a
monster step
it's like closing in
behind you as they're collecting themselves
and running behind and all of you begin to tear off
Lex you found an alternate exit
and we see all of you
quickly run off
and being chased by this group of gnolls
who bottlenecks through this small tunnel
Dumbgeons and Dragons season 2
episode 115
starring Carla Max dead as Lex
Tom Laird as Perseus
Amy More as Flanks
with Kyle Claset as Japes
Rev Deshane as Margaret Brodcloak
and Russ More as your dungeon master
editing, production and sound design by Russ More
this episode featured music from
Epidemic Sound and sound effects from
Epidemic Sound, Boom Library and Sound Ideas
a huge thank you to our supporting
producers, Gabriel Lynch, Jessica
Babyok, Cat Water Flame, Jacob Madden
Christian Brown, Devin Michaels
Craig Zeiss, Aaron Stevens
Geralith, Lulahan, Charlie Warley
and L.A. Branton. To support
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have a great week, we'll talk again soon
bullet point number one
sexy goblin
question mark?
are they taking us to the abyss Russ?
under dark
ok that's what I thought
and I thought I dreamed it
this isn't a real thing
so many dark terrible
places we can go in this world
we're gonna go under them
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons
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